Saturday, May 3, 2014

Honesty.

It's important to be honest with yourself.

I've had a dose of truth serum today.

This morning I ran 4 miles and I felt so out of shape.
Long gone are the days of 2-a-days and working out when I want.

I've gained some weight. 
5 pounds to be exact.
Doesn't sound like a lot but to me it might as well be 50.

Bad habits have re-emerged.
I know this.
I also know better.

Today I had to wear my "fat" pants so I could be comfortable while running errands.
Shorts are out of the question at this point.
I felt a sense of relief when I didn't run into anyone while I was out.

Marathon training hasn't even started and I am already dreading it.
I get anxious just thinking about it.
How am I going to fit marathon training into my schedule.

Last year it was easy.
But now I work full-time and I am a single parent.

There's a lot of stuff I'd love to talk about on here but I can't.
Most of it being good stuff.

Maybe this is just a phase. 
A sad moment.
An ugly cry.

So why the debbie downer post?
Maybe it's a way to keep myself in check.
Maybe I just needed a place to put my jumbled thoughts
Maybe someone can relate and it'll help them.
A friend posted this.
It speaks volumes.

Life is such a roller coaster and this too shall pass....

7 comments:

  1. IT is OK to not be OK as my post said the other day. Reach out if you need to. Talk to a professional if it helps. There is not shame in asking for help. You have gone thru a big change in the last year. It is bound to hurt & catch up with you mentally as well as the fact that day life has changed. I recall those long days when I did it & most likely heading back to it again if I can find work.

    I would say on the body stuff which is hard for those of us that like to keep looking & feeling the way we want to.. dig deep & think about what you did to get there & how hard it was PLUS how hard it is to get off the pounds we put on. I am short too so I get that 5 pounds is a lot on a little person. No, what we weight & how we look does not define us BUT if we prefer to look & be a certain way, nothing wrong with that.

    HUGE HUGS!!!!!!!!!! Be kind to yourself & you are enough & worth it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am really thinking of you my friend. You can chat with me anytime and I really hope everything gets better soon. You are awesome and truly an inspirational woman. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally relate to feeling overwhelmed by having to fit so much into one day. Work, motherhood, running-it all takes seconds, minutes, and hours in each day. Sending you a bug ((hug)) my friend! Have patience, faith, and believe in yourself everyday because you are amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've been in your shoes and it does pass. Keep your chin up. Do your best, do what you can. It's enough.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You my dear are strong and wonderful and can do anything you put your mind to, this much I know for sure. Sure things may be different now but you are different now too...the things I have watched you work through and you still come out on top and you still make the time to support others- you have a million people behind you willing to help and support you along the way. Keep your head up, I am incredibly proud of you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Writing down your feelings is so powerful. It always helps me to feel better. Hope you are doing better as well.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've been thinking about you lately -- chin up. You are doing the best you can and are amazing. Being a single mama is HARD and yet you do it, work full time and still manage to workout. Maybe not as much but you still get it done. You are setting an amazing example for your kids. See you soon in Annapolis!

    ReplyDelete